I go through such fluctuations in my life. For a month or two, I’ll be completely content to spend much of my time at home, reading, writing, catching my soul up on life. Then, some event will change that into an whirlwind of busy where my apartment becomes nothing but a place for sleeping. It’s at those time when I start to feel a bit insecure. I start worrying too much about defining myself in the happiness of others. When I realize this, I tend back towards the quiet evenings alone to focus.
Right now, I’m in the transition between these two states, constantly being torn on whether I should worry about distracting myself with friends and busyness or to just take it easy. Through all of this, I’m learning where some insecurities lie within myself and am trying to remedy those to get to a healthy mind space.
I’m a big proponent of self reflection and improvement (wow, that sounds like I’m some crazed motivational speaker). I’m a perfectionist and I try to deal with that through the self refection, hoping it will be a kind of solution to it.
So, this outfit; easy, like the summer evenings.
Do you ever find that when you aren’t trying to keep it all together, somehow, life just falls into place? I’ve stopped worrying about every little detail and how every minute of every day will play out and if I will have enough time to do everything. I just live. Moment to moment. I know everyone says you should do this and blah, blah, blah, but until you experience it for yourself, you never realize the true freedom that lies in leaving behind all your ridiculous expectations of every situation. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have a purpose, or goals, but only to stop expecting so much out of everything. It is completely futile.
I hope that each person on this earth gets to experience life free of pressure and expectations.
(insert awkward transition to outfit post here)
So, found this gem of a dress in the back of my closet the other day. And would you guess what? It’s literally the perfect sundress for the summer days. So, sorry to all who live in Nashville because this will be very over-worn this summer.
dress: thrifted // shoes: target
what about the girl with lonliness? // i like your sundress
I think I’ve only ever done one outfit post inside before. But, I wanted to share my (half of) the room. Yes, it’s true; I share a room. But it’s one of the most lovely things actually! We both have lofts and what you are seeing in the photo is my nook under my lofted bed.
I wanted to keep my room simple and ‘me’. (Not so) coincidentaly, I chose an outfit that is simple, but I feel so comfortable in. Denim on denim. Perfect button up with these jeans that make me feel like a million bucks. Seriously. Worth every penny (and let me tell you, I paid a lot of pennies for those jeans).
The best part of my room? It feels like home.
I share a 600 square foot apartment. It’s small, but it’s perfect for my life right now. One of the only hesitancies about moving into an apartment was the lack of nature and space to move around. I absolutely need nature to feel at home, at peace. But thankfully I knew myself all too well and magically moved right across the street from Ellington Agricultural Center.
It’s a breath of nature for me, 207 acres to be exact. Horses are often out in the pastures, there’s a few short trails next to Sevenmile Creek, and a little gazebo and flower garden. Being a country girl at heart, seeing the space and the occasional tractor up on the hill in Ellington makes me feel right at home. I spend a decent amount of time in this little haven.
So, of course, I had to take my camera set up out here and do some outfit photos next to this beautifully spring blooming tree. My dress almost sickeningly matches the surroundings. Whatever… YOLO, ya know?
dress::sugarlips apparel//sandals::market in barcelona//sunnies:: SEE
There’s this deep ache in my soul for both nature and city.
The peaceful lull of the hills and rivers draws me outward,
Enticing a relaxation I hardly ever attain.
Then, there’s this jealous unrest rising up from the city,
Luring me back inward,
Boasting of its mystery and raw potential of possibility.
(yeah, I wrote that…)
GUYS. I think spring finally made it. I was sweating the other day. Sure signs of warm weather right there.
These photos brought to you by my little balcony of my little apartment with the gloirous sun on my back.
I’ve been thinking a lot about summer and community and planning lovely little get togethers for my friends. I have all sorts of ideas, I just hope I can follow through with, like, 25% of them. Dinners on the balcony, lunches in the park, maybe even a sunrise breakfast (food seems to be a common denominator for me, of course) Summer makes something come alive in me and I just want to be active and outside; my soul is free again after a winter of hibernation.
here’s to a summer full of community and food, really the only two things I need.
I’m learning to grow into my short hair.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it looks terrible and I’m not freaking out over chopping all my hair off again. It’s just a weird feeling. I think short hair can be very feminine and chic and all that. But, there’s something about girl hair that makes me feel not “girl pretty”. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it’s a constant thought in my mind. I just don’t have hair to make me feel really girly. Take that along with the fact that I’ve been wear jeans, boots, and button ups (read: what every GUY in Nashville wears) constantly and you get me not feeling very girly.
This is where outfit photos can help my self confidence. After I took these photos, I just felt better about my short hair. I had on a skirt, my hair has grown out just a bit and everything seemed to be back to “normal”, whatever that really means.
So regardless of how you feel about me taking photos of myself, I don’t care. Sometimes, I just need to do it for me.
Here’s to the journey of loving myself, because that seems to be pretty hard for me…
‘What a life I lead when the sun breaks free as a giant torn from the clouds’
I was just thinking to myself, ‘what a life I lead!’, which of course reminded me of this wonderful Fleet Foxes song. These past 2 weeks have been an overwhelming tide of, well, everything. At the beginning of the month, I moved out of my house and lived on a couch for 2 weeks. (Actually not as bad as it sounds. It was really great living temporarily with 2 wonderful friends!) Then, a few days ago, I moved into an apartment with a friend I met at Belmont, mostly because I could barely afford rent and utilities in my old house.
I’ve never actually lived in an apartment before. Technically, they call what I’m living in an apartment home. I have no idea what the difference is. But, I’ll tell you one thing, I already feel at home. Yet, at the same time, I kind of feel like I’m on vacation or something with all the pools and workout rooms and using this card to get into said places. Also, I have a lofted bed, which makes me feel like a kid, or a college student, again. It’s all new to me but I really think I am going to like living here for the next year.
So, yes, it’s been an insane 2 weeks but I’m finally beginning to feel settled down a bit. What a wonderful feeling that is.
paisley top-thrifted//skirt and leggings-target//socks-gifted (Thanks Edwin!)//boots-candies
what a life i lead when the wind did breeze