Spotlight Sunday :: some recent thoughts

It feels like I’m around people a lot.  Constantly.  But, this makes sense because people are one of the things that make me the happiness.  I thrive off of being around others.  However, I all too easily forget how draining this can be when it’s all I have known for the past couple months.

I forget how precious and reenergizing time alone can be.

I used to absolutely loathe being alone, which had a lot to do with the fact that I was insecure with who I was.  When I moved away from everything that I knew and started completely over, alone was something I did not want to be.  But, I got used to it.  I started to appreciate what being alone actually meant.

Today has been absolutely brilliant.  I spent almost the entire day just to myself.  It helps that I am at my parent’s house away from all of the normal distractions.

While spending time to myself, I rediscovered a song that is so beautifully written.  (Yes, it’s by ‘The Fray’, but I’m not so much worried about the music of it so much as I am the poem of words that are strung together)

It perfectly captures the emotion of happiness.  However, it doesn’t sound like a particularly happy tune.  But, sometimes happiness is more than simply being happy, it’s a longing for more.  Then, you think of other times when you were so happy that you could cry and you are almost to the point of sadness that you are not in that moment right now.

Happiness is just outside my window 
Would it crash blowing 80-miles an hour? 
Or is happiness a little more like knocking 
On your door, and you just let it in? Happiness feels a lot like sorrow 
Let it be, you can’t make it come or go 
But you are gone- not for good but for now 
Gone for now feels a lot like gone for good Happiness is a firecracker sitting on my headboard 
Happiness was never mine to hold 
Careful child, light the fuse and get away 
‘Cause happiness throws a shower of sparks 

Happiness damn near destroys you 
Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor 
So you tell yourself, that’s enough for now 
Happiness has a violent roar 

Happiness is like the old man told me 
Look for it, but you’ll never find it all 
Let it go, live your life and leave it 
Then one day, wake up and she’ll be home 
Home, home, home

yes, that’s me

be alone. be happy. don’t take it for granted.

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