Christmas season is in full swing, yet I don’t feel the least bit of holiday cheer. I’m surrounded by people I love but it all just doesn’t add up. I am not even in the mood to listen to any Christmas music… In fact, I usually change it if I hear it. So call me Scrooge, but I don’t know what is the matter.
Maybe it’s because I’ve just been feeling a little unmotivated and stuck lately. Maybe it’s because my house isn’t really decorated at all for Christmas. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older.
I’ve been thinking about that lately, I am just in a different stage of life now. Christmas doesn’t have the same magic as it did when I was younger. I believe that will come back when I have kids and a family of my own to share the special time with. But, right now, I’m just a poor recent college grad with not even enough money to be able to give the gifts I want to friends and family. Now, I’m not saying money would solve this problem, but giving gifts is something that brings me joy and makes the holiday season special to me.
So, I guess I just am wondering if there’s a cure for this spiritless Christmas. Maybe I just need to escape to my parent’s house and sit by the lit up real Christmas tree listening to Christmas cassette tapes like we usually do when we decorate the tree.
I believe it’s time for me to ask myself what I believe this time is supposed to mean in my life right now. And I don’t have an answer. Maybe that’s the frustrating part.
HP Christmas image via weheartit
live what you love.